Sunday 16 February 2014

The Crisis in Masculinity

She is a feisty, self-actualised woman and she has caught a live man-specimen. He stands silent and naked under spotlights in her gender laboratory. White-coated and assistanted, she circles him, clutching a clipboard.

“This, I like…”,

pointing at his male member.

“Even better when erect, when it makes me scream, multiplying my orgasms. So divine! What’s the fuel?”

“We’ve isolated it Ma'am. Testosterone.”

“Efficient and effective. Keep it in. What about the compatibility problem?”

“We’re still working on that Ma’am. It is looking as though the qualities that you listed for erasure such as his angularity, assertiveness, aggression and dismissiveness may, unfortunately, be powered by the same fuel. It seems that testosterone pervades the whole project. It could be said that it flavours and even defines his whole being. The bits of information that we’ve recorded emerging from him have a testosterone shape. Some recent research goes as far as to suggest that it is programmed at an even deeper level which we are calling the ‘Y chromosome’.”

“Yes, yes, enough.”

She continues circling.

“He really is a beast. What can we do about it?”

“As I say Ma’am, we are working on it. Our aim is to find a reagent which will act as a testosterone switch so that it can be turned off at will, without, of course, ever diminishing his sexual attractiveness. Incidentally, you may be interested in recent German research which actually has male subjects exhibiting something which looks like gentleness and displays of affection.”

“Must be explicable anomalies. I’m sure they haven’t been tested against controls. Continue with the redrafting. His existence image is unacceptable as it stands. It must be dissolved and remade. In addition his self-expression profile must be re-mastered.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Oh, and don’t forget to have the work on the depilation of the jaw brought to a conclusion. So scratchy!”

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